Louder
by blvckfawn
Summary: There's a long pause, where Beck seems to know better than to try to say anything. He's dated Jade for nearly two years, now - he's gotten pretty good at differentiating the 'stay quiet' silences from the 'please say something' silences. This feels distinctly like the former. (season one bade, set immediately after the pilot)


This was going to be a 1k pure angst oneshot, but I apparently find it impossible to not turn Beck and Jade into fluff. Sorry.

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><p>Jade picks at the little scab on her knee that's visible through one of the many tears in her jeans, glaring as the skin flakes away and a tiny bead of red bubbles up on the surface of her skin. She squeezes at the area around it until the blood pools and then streaks down, seeming to vanish as it hits the material of the jeans and soaks into the black denim.<p>

**"Are you still there?" **Beck's voice is tinny, and hollow-sounding through her pearphone. Jade swipes her thumb over the tiny wound and pops it into her mouth, sucking the blood away before responding.

**"Mm- Mhm. Yeah. I'm here." **She huffs, impatient.

There's a long pause, where Beck seems to know better than to try to say anything. He's dated Jade for nearly two years, now - he's gotten pretty good at differentiating the 'stay quiet' silences from the 'please say something' silences. This feels distinctly like the former.

The shallow cut on Jade's knee is already caking over, dry, and she stretches her legs out to rest flat against her bed before finally speaking again.

**"I'll meet you in the park. In five minutes." **She doesn't need to threaten or be specific for him to know that if he's not there in exactly those five minutes, she won't wait around. Usually, she would, putting aside whatever selfish sense of pride she has in order to stick around and yell about him for being late, but this time it's different. He messed up, _bad. _He didn't just make her mad, which he's sort of an expert at, no, now she's _hurt. _This is a different monster that Beck isn't totally equipped to fight.

**"I'll be there." **he says quickly, and Jade hangs up on him without another word.

Beck drives, but he knows Jade will be walking. If all goes well, maybe he'll be driving her back to wherever she wants to be when they're finished talking. He's there before Jade, and has been waiting only a minute or two (though it feels like hours) when she finally walks up to the bench he's settled on. She changed her clothes, from school. The tank top with the studded v-neckline has been replaced with a long-sleeved Henley, and something about it makes her look vulnerable, which makes him stop to think for a moment because all she's done is covered more skin. That's how it works with her, though - she can walk around confidently in low-cut shirts and skintight torn jeans, because that's when everyone fears her the most. Something about the fact that she could rip them in half for staring at her while still being someone they _want _to stare at gives her an unfair advantage over everyone else. This side of her, though, with the long-sleeves and the cleaned up makeup, is hard to look at. She's stunning, as always, but something about looking at her when she's this way feels like seeing his mom cry, or a kicked puppy. It stirs up an ache so deep in his chest that he wants to kick and yell and do anything to make it stop.

**"Hi."** he looks up at her and rubs his hands together nervously, resisting the urge to clear the itch from the back of his throat.

**"So why'd you kiss her?" **her voice is blunt, angry. Beck has never been so fucking relieved in his entire life to hear the rage rising up in her tone.

**"Jade," **he sighs heavily and dips his head down a little, breaking eye-contact. It's a weak move, but she's terrifying. The relief of her not being in zombie-mode can only do so much to mask the… _clench _that he feels every time she raises her voice like this. **"It was a st- "**

**"Stage kiss, right. Got it." **she snaps, cutting him off and pulling her hands out of her pockets to cross her arms grumpily over her chest. He goes quiet for a moment - he can't tell which kind of silence this is, but he knows he's in trouble. It feels like being put in a corner to have a time-out. **"So, what, do you **_**like **_**her?"**

**"Not like that." **Beck replies, now, standing his ground a little as he grows used to her tone. He doesn't exactly _enjoy _fighting with Jade - but this is how they work things out. Quiet disagreements are much more uncomfortable between the two of them than a one-sided screaming match.

Jade glares back at him in response, knowing he won't budge on this. She can't tell him who to be friends with, no matter how hard she tries to, some days.

**"Well, she's clearly obsessed with you." **She huffs, tightening her arms across her chest irritably. **"I just assumed, y'know, out of respect to **_**me, **_**you might consider -"**

**"What, I can't be friends with girls, now?" **he asks, cutting her off. She makes a noise similar to a snarl, in response.

**"Not girls who hate me." **she hisses. The silence that falls between them has a very, _very _obvious, 'But lots of girls hate you' subtext. Beck values his life enough not to point out the obvious. **"Not girls who don't respect me." **Jade corrects herself.

**"You mean don't **_**fear **_**you." **Beck points out, one eyebrow raising at her. He's certainly not looking for a fight, but he's not going to let her walk all over him. He knows better. If he made a habit of letting her get her way every time they disagreed, she'd have gotten bored and left him months ago. He's not sure if that's the healthiest foundation to construct a relationship on, but hell, he's in love. He'll let it slide.

**"Same thing." **she snaps, and for a moment, Beck is convinced that she completely believes that. **"Seriously, though, Beck, she's a complete gank. There's a new girl trying to worm their way into your life every semester, and if you can't recognize her as just another -"**

**"Jade." **he stops her to look up, now, reaching for her. She backs away from his hands but he moves forward regardless, anticipating her move. Long fingers wrap around her hips and pull her closer to the bench until she's standing between his legs, glaring down at him. She's always been jealous but right now she's furious. **"I will never **_**ever **_**kiss Tori again. Stage kiss or not." **he promises her. He's not even sure it's a promise he'll be able to keep, but if there ever comes a situation that he's forced to, he'll let Jade tear whoever's responsible a new one.

**"Promise?" **she tries to make it sound like a demand, but her lip is wobbling dangerously. Beck knows damn well she isn't going to cry, but the expression still makes him feel like someone's twisting a knife into his chest. He can't say 'no' to her. Ever.

**"Promise." **he repeats, standing up, now. She backs up a bit to make room for him, and when he dips his head down to kiss her, she doesn't hesitate. She's cold to his touch when he brings his hand up to cup the side of her face, his thumb brushing her cheek, feather-light. She's as tough as nails but he'll never stop handling her like porcelain.

She pulls away a little when she needs air, but he catches her lips with his own again and again, each time, not stopping until she pushes his cheek away with her hand and chuckles, whining softly.

**"Beck, I need **_**air." **_

**"Pfft." **he scoffs softly and tightens his hands around her, jostling her a little before pulling her to his chest and kissing the top of her head softly. **"It's overrated." **he mumbles into her hair, inhaling sharply. It's only been a few hours since he's seen her at school but he already began to miss the way she smells. Like coffee and cinnamon and some kind of nut-scented shampoo - hazelnut? No, macadamia.

**"I love you." **she says, suddenly, pulling back from his chest to look up at him. He's a little taken aback. He always says it first. _Always. _

**"I love you, too." **he smiles in response - he looks so genuinely happy that she seems to forget to yell at him for the little moment of hesitation. She smiles back, softly, and kisses him once more, taking both of his hands in her own at their sides. He's all hers - she knows it, too. As jealous as she is, it's sort of vindicating to watch other girls trip over themselves for a chance to talk to him, to stand near him, to touch him - and for him to turn them down, one by one. For him to grab Jade in public and kiss her, to hold her hand or wrap an arm around her shoulder in class.

Tori's different, though. She can tell, deep down in her subconscious. He loves her, and she knows it, but something about Tori drew him in immediately. Jade saw it, Andre saw it, hell, _Sikowitz _saw it. It's the naivety and light that she's bringing in with her - a sweet sort of optimism about the school, the industry… it's a light that Jade knows is going to be snuffed out within a few months. It takes a certain level of optimism to keep from throwing your dreams in the trash and giving up - Jade's 'optimism' takes the form of self-confidence, and an interest in always improving her skillset. Beck's is similar, which is perhaps why they seem to click so well on stage together. Naivety is not the way to go, though. Not in this industry. Jade knows it, Beck knows it, hell, _Cat _knows that. So many of the students at Hollywood Arts are delusional enough to just think that their connections will get them what they need, or they'll genuinely go places based on raw talent alone, so Tori's bright-eyed enthusiasm to 'live her new dream' is like a breath of fresh air in the hallways of jaded understanding of the harsh world they're all trying to move forward in. Jade's sure that _The Bird Scene _alone will be enough to frustrate the girl right out the door of Hollywood Arts never to return again.

**"Let's walk." **Beck's voice snaps her out of her thoughts, and he tugs her hand softly to pull her with him toward the play-area of the park. She follows along beside him, lacing their fingers together and smiling at her feet when she feels the rush of security that hits her with that simple action.

They pass the slides and the swings and stop at the monkey bars so Beck can let go of her hand to swing across them. Jade stands to the side, rolling her eyes at him despite his pleads for her to join him.

**"Didn't you ever play on the monkey bars when you were a kid?" **he questions, smiling widely. He sways back and forth a little, feels the pull in his biceps and the soreness building up in his palms. It feels like childhood, though. He loves it.

**"I used to walk on top of them." **she replies, almost disinterestedly. She doesn't talk about her childhood much - Beck tries not to pry. Her eyes travel over him slowly, straying a little longer than necessary on the sliver of his torso that's exposed from the wife-beater under his flannel riding up. Her mouth suddenly feels dry, and she licks her lips impatiently.

**"Oh," **he lets go of the bars and his boots land with a small 'thud' in the sand below. His tone is faux-serious. **"You were one of **_**those." **_

**"What's that supposed to mean?" **she winces at her own choice of words. Her summer had been very full of Cat Valentine - nothing she was complaining about, but she certainly wasn't interested in picking up any of her mannerisms.

Beck just chuckles in response, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair. **"Nothing. I was always too scared to do that." **

Now it's Jade's turn to scoff, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at him. **"Beats hanging there and looking like a moron." **she insists.

**"No, come on, it's great. Try it." **he steps closer to her and raises an eyebrow. Before she can protest, he's wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her a little. She goes to complain but decides that humouring him will be much faster, and stretches her arms up to grab the bar closest to her. **"Got it?" **he asks, before letting go and stepping back.

**"This sucks." **she tells him almost immediately. She probably looks ridiculous, dangling there without moving - not even swaying. She can feel her shirt riding up, her legs weighing her down. Her arms feel like they're going to fall out of their sockets and remain attached to the bar above her.

**"Try to grab the next one." **Beck insists, unphased by her unenthusiastic attitude.

She moves to let go, but the second her fingers begin to slide off of the bar she feels herself about to fall. Instead, she tightens her grip, wincing at the burn in the palms of her hands. **"Hm, no, I think I'm good here."**

Beck laughs. **"You're right. You do sort of look like a moron hanging there." **She looks ready to jump down and slap him, so he backpedals, pushing all the right buttons to get her to stay there. **"It's fine, I mean, a bunch of five year olds can do it, but if you're having trouble, that's alright." **

Jade glares at him, then lets go of the bar and grabs the next one, making a pained noise as she hangs there, one hand on each bar, no longer moving. She sways a little from the force of her swing, squeezing her eyes shut with a low groan. Beck doubles over laughing, despite her protests that start up as soon as she manages to catch her breath.

**"Stop making fun of me!" **

**"Should work on your upper-body strength, babe." **Beck teases as he steps closer, reaching up and squeezing at her biceps mockingly. It earns him a little squirm paired with a nervous grin, and he grins absolutely wickedly.

**"Beck, don't." **she warns, trying to wrap a threatening tone around her smile. It's impossible, and she swings her legs out to try to kick him away, but it's such a pathetic defence tactic that Beck just pushes her ankles away and grabs her by the waist, tickling her like it's his job. To be fair, she puts up some fairly good resistance, if only for a moment. **"Stop - **_**stop! **_**I'm going to fall, oh my **_**god!" **_

**"I'm not going to let you fall." **he promises, grinning when she finally caves in and laughs turning her head to hide it in her arm. She hates her laugh, but it's one of Beck's favourite sounds in the world. He's one of the only few people that ever gets to hear it - it's like a bonus track on a record that no one noticed was there. When she can't take any more of it, arms shaking as she desperately tries to maintain her grip, she lets go. She knows he's going to catch her - and even if he doesn't, she's going to land on top of him, and it's going to be _his _fault. Maybe if she lands somewhere sensitive he'll take it as a sign not to tickle her anymore. He _does _catch her, though, his arms wrapping around her waist and stopping her before she touches the ground, holding her up until she gains her balance.

**"Jerk." **she hisses at him, still smiling.

He kisses her again and links their fingers, the pair of them shuffling out of the sand toward the grass. There's plenty of room _not _on top of Beck, but he doesn't complain or stop her from stretching herself out and resting her entire upper half across his torso once he sits down.

**"You don't actually like, plan on **_**hanging out with her **_**now, do you?" **Jade can't help but ask, turning her head to look up at Beck as he begins to weave his fingers into her hair.

He scoffs softly, giving her a look, and she blushes under his gaze.

**"I was just being friendly. You should try doing the same." **he insists, giving her another almost stern look.

**"Ew, **_**I'm **_**not going to kiss her." **she snaps, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

**"Is that negotiable?"**

She reaches up, gritting her teeth, and smacks him upside the head crookedly. He just laughs, threading his fingers back into her hair and massaging at her scalp gently. Her eyes flutter closed and the tiniest hint of a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. She looks like a content kitten, now that the claws have been temporarily retracted.

**"Love you." **she reminds him, her voice thick with sleepy comfort.

This time, he doesn't hesitate out of surprise. He just grabs her free hand with a little squeeze, the smile evident in his voice - she can picture it perfectly without opening her eyes.

**"Love you, too."**


End file.
